NYC

On my Midwest flight to NYC i found myself overcome with emotion... again. It's not as if i haven't been back to NY in years. I was here in August for a product launch event with my ex to see Kanye, who was performing.

After a series of events this year and in my persistent efforts to trust in God's will i have finally felt like i am letting go of Big. Maybe i'm thinking about this because i have experienced so many firsts in this city with the greatest love of my life (to date). Maybe it's the nostalgia. We had been so connected and our happiness together was so tied up in our dreams and our efforts to get him to the US or at least figure a way to get us in the same place.

New York was the first stop. I remember when he didn't know our friends' address in Manhattan and Big actually wrote "Fulton Street" on the customs form! Oh the influences of hiphop ;) I could imagine the way he thought it would be here and i remember fearing when he would realize the reality was much different.

But none the less, we loved it and loved being in love here. Each time he came to the states he flew thru NY and we'd spend time here together. Even in a diverse city like that we attracted stares and comments. Welcome to America! I will always remember walking the streets with him, the Illy Cafe, Brooklyn shopping, Senegalese restaurants, first time i saw the ring he was buying me... i'll go ahead n stop there.

Oh the Lord has brought me so far. When my last ex, the one i was in NY with, and i broke things off it was truly the first breakup in three years that i didn't grieve Big again. Of course i still think of him. It's sad knowing that Paco's passing away was what really spurred conversation between us again. And being with him in Miami in August was a blessing in so many ways. If i end up with a man half as wise and caring i will have surpassed any expectation my mind could have ever created before.

I think that in our shared "dream" i learned how people/places/things can represent something much greater. Just 3 weeks ago i was in Haiti with my baby, Isaac. I played Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind over and over for him. I told him how one day i'd take him to NY and how the possibilities for him will be endless. With these experiences i've seen just what a city can represent... it's really not about the place, it's about the DREAM.

Home is where the heart is. And i'm really good at leaving my heart in far away places. My heart right now lives in Port-au-Prince, but in all reality isn't even of this earth.

In the meantime, i'm going be strong and grateful for the love i have for this city that represents people like Big and Isaac and myself. I'm going to shop for my baby and think of him often. I enjoy the ironies that my other ex, who i talk to regularly, is possibly being traded to the Yankees as i write this. And i'm here with a girl that i met in Africa to celebrate her birthday - it's her 1st time in the city and i get to share that with her :-)

LOVE LIVE LAUGH LOUD!! (shout out to shorty for that;))

I am a Sensualist

“Fellini said he loved zaftig women because a woman who doesn't love food isn't good in bed. I think there's something to that.”


"The people who are the most beautiful are those who do what they love to do – who have love in their lives, and laugh a lot, go to good movies, read good books, and have great sex." — actress Carla Gugino

What a beautiful life philosophy. I love finding people in life who think or feel similarly to myself. And the way they articulate it just gives you that YESSSSSSSSSSS that is IT! Every person is at their most beautiful when they are happy.


happiness = ranges from contentment to intense joy, but i think it's most about choosing to being grateful in your current situation


Sensualism, defined as a devotion or obsession with the pleasures of the senses is more often cited as a negative characteristic than a positive one. I have always considered myself a sensual person. I may not have an obsession, but a definite affinity towards sensual pleasures greater than your average Jane. I take priority in life's pleasures relating to all five of my senses. Some of my friends and past loves will read and agree whole-heartedly, some saying i told you so before!


I'm that girl that closes her eyes as she first sips a rich espresso. The slow sounds of a deep voice in my ear can make my knees weak, literally. I enjoy rich foods like steak and dark chocolate, the smell of a man or of vanilla. Texture is the deciding factor in my clothing and comfort foods. I once had my palm read. The woman told me that i was very flexible and i would know when i found "the one" by touch, even if that touch was minimal or insignificant to most, it wouldn't go unnoticed by me. My favorite indulgence is an amazing massage and probably have more of them in one year than the average person does in a lifetime. Warmth and water is therapeutic to body and soul. Music and rhythm is so moving to me that what i listen to can not only take me back, but bring me thru pain, reduce me to tears, my knees, make me shake my head, grin from ear to ear, or just shake my booty for hours. I've always been one to know exactly what i like. I may be one of the worst at expressing it in words, but if you get to know me i can show you ;)


Many people, men and women alike, can relate to this concept. Who doesn't like sensual pleasures in life. And in part, i think having a strong desire to please your senses comes with being confident in your own skin and letting go of the guilt people feel when they are indulgent. But some of the smallest things in life can give the greatest amounts of satisfaction. Life is too short to deprive yourself to be 5 pounds thinner, have $5 more in the bank, or prove to someone your selfless. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! - after the Lord of course... and everyone else in your life will reap the residual benefits of a happy, healthy you!

VEGAS

I recently celebrated a big birthday... Vegas style. I know it's not an exotic or new adventure, but such a great place to meet friends from other cities and there's plenty happening every night of the week. 

HOTEL: Encore - recommend the Tower Suites


NIGHTLIFE: Jet, XS - definite favorite of mine!, Blush - great service on my bday!

Ride or Die

I'm not sure how to even begin this post... I started this morning w an egg sandwich and coffee, listening to a song that made me really feel these words. "If I hadn't been thru the things I've been thru, I wouldn't know Him like I do." Then at church I heard the preacher speak about how there are things inside of you that you didn't know were there until you went thru what you did. Amen to that! My growth in the last year (even last month or two) has been amazing. I feel blessed with a gift of insight. I can see right thru to the heart of people and am recognizing why I do what I do with greater clarity than ever before. It feels like a burden sometimes. It was so much easier to write people off when I just reacted to their outward actions or to make excuses for myself. Oh how ignorance is bliss... But when we know better we can do better;)... and that is what is expected of us. Ultimately as Christ said in John 8:32 "the truth will set you free"


God has been pruning me and preparing me. Trust, I have a long way to go, but one thing I know is that I am fiercely loyal. I find myself tired of the competition, the games, the fickle attitude of others. But in all reality, it isn't my job to change that. All I can be is an example to those who paths cross with mine and learn from each experience as it comes. God places people in our path for a reason. You may not know it now or maybe ever, but His will is great and His desires for us exceeds our very own. 


So back to the title of this post... yes I consider myself a ride or die female. The people who have been close enough to me know this. They may no longer be a part of my daily life, but no matter what, I am here for them. It's something I almost can't help, but I'm proud to be that way. We are to ABIDE in Him and to stay with Him because His staying power is eternal. And I want to be more like Him. 


So I am trying to be patient and to wait on the Lord's timing. Becoming a woman of character. Plain and simple. There are rough times and there are good times and there are just getting by times. All of those put together make who we are together and as individuals, not just the good times. If you are down, I will lift you up. If I am down, you will lift me. Thick and thin kinda sh*t ♡ Pretty sure ya'll know what I'm talking about.

South Georgia and Orlando, FL

Just thought i'd share a few photos for my friends of my most recent visit to the south....

Much Ministries Market Place

love the trees in GA

St. Augustine, FL

Welcome to Florida! LOL

Guatemala Pics

Finally up. This was a great trip. I'm missing so much as i uploaded them. Hope to go back sooner than later!


See the pics on fb HERE

Simplicity

A friend of mine recently said that she finally understood my whole "simple outlook". She said it took her awhile, but it's amazing and she felt a great blessing for me to be ever so lucky to do the things that I do. And I think this can apply to all of us.

"It's the little things that count" is applicable to every one of us each day of our lives. I've been blessed with so many opportunity to go many different places and do so many things. There is never enough time in the day or in our lives to do it all. But the people we meet along the way make the lasting impression on us. 


So what to do with all these opportunities?! I choose to take them! You always have to sacrifice something else to do it. But do it. Make the best of it. And life can't get any better then that. I hope for each of you the same blessings and opportunities you are looking for, whether it is far away, across town, in your own home, or inside of your beautiful self!


A few verses courtesy of Ashley...

Psalm 128:2

2 You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Proverbs 10:21-23

²¹ The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.²² The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.²³ A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom

Like I Never Left

Bittersweet is the word that best describes my life or how i view it these days. I woke up this morning to this vista...

There have been so many things swirling in my head lately. Sometimes i feel as if i'm living someone else's life.

How did i get here? What does the Lord have in store for me? For my family? How did i come upon the friends i have? After a boat ride to Santiago and then Panajachel, Guatemala today i was sleepy and just minutes before i layed down for a siesta it started to pour! I woke less than an hour later to skies clearing and soon after, a beautiful sunset. How lucky am i? Are we? Or just blessed. It's the little things that count... and that stay with you.

My girl, went to church last night (while i've been here in central america) and took notes for me. I can't tell you how much this meant to me. She just recently started going to church with me and even asked why i had to write stuff down. I told her just so i remember points and verses i liked. It's my recap:) But she gets it!!! How rare is that?

Another friend continues to challenge and question me. And in the process of verbalizing things to her i have processed so much. I'm so grateful for the relationships in my life.

Another friend of mine has been going thru some tough times and he knows enough about both sides of one of my relationships. His way of speaking to me has guided my thoughts and prayers in a way that i'm sure he doesn't even know. He told me last week that in moving on and forward i need to "open my hands to what is coming to me." How simple, yet how profound those words were to me. He also thanked me yesterday for something and said that he hoped one day i'd love him like i do/did two of our mutual friends. And you know what?.... I do. It doesn't matter how long you've known some people. Sometimes you love them like the ones who've been there for years. Maybe the one who you've known for years is no longer with you. But in his memory i will continue to LOVE, love whatever God places in front of me and in my heart.

So my newest song is a Whitney Houston and Akon (he's senegalese) joint. So appropriate and certainly not an accident. The old and new..... I've experienced this love like i never left recently. It may make it more difficult since it isn't always a sustainable situation, but it makes me grateful to know that it's real and not just something i created in my mind and held onto alone....

Bienvenidos a Guatemala

course i snapped a shot with my phone of this sign outside the beautiful restaurant we ate at with friends yesterday in Guatemala City. i can't even describe how charming and pretty these little courtyards are. not to mention how great the food and coffee has been. deseo que podría compartirlo con todos xxxxxxxxx

top 10 places i'd like to visit right now

... but i haven't been to... yet

1. Morocco

2. Greece

3. Curaçao

4. Turkey

Kempinski Hotel Barbaros Bay

Belek, Kempinski Hotel The Dome

5. Beruit, Lebanon

6. Malaysia

7. Malta

8. Carmel, California

Carmel-by-the-Sea

9. Belize

10. India

and read this: World's Best Millionaire Hangouts

i've been to 10. (in mustique), 8., 7., 4. (stayed there last week!), and 1. (is my favorite small town in the WORLD!) i'm like the millionaire wo the dinero! LOL

Uganda Pix

The first of pictures i have up from the trip... more to come. I'll just add links on here.

Uganda - Albumn 1

Uganda - Albumn 2

Uganda - Albumn 3

Mustique

i was so blessed to stay at toucan hill in mustique, a private island in the west indies. there are so many beautiful places in the world. i'm still in awe of this one. xoxox

transfered from my blog Miss Taylor........@