Like I Never Left

Bittersweet is the word that best describes my life or how i view it these days. I woke up this morning to this vista...

There have been so many things swirling in my head lately. Sometimes i feel as if i'm living someone else's life.

How did i get here? What does the Lord have in store for me? For my family? How did i come upon the friends i have? After a boat ride to Santiago and then Panajachel, Guatemala today i was sleepy and just minutes before i layed down for a siesta it started to pour! I woke less than an hour later to skies clearing and soon after, a beautiful sunset. How lucky am i? Are we? Or just blessed. It's the little things that count... and that stay with you.

My girl, went to church last night (while i've been here in central america) and took notes for me. I can't tell you how much this meant to me. She just recently started going to church with me and even asked why i had to write stuff down. I told her just so i remember points and verses i liked. It's my recap:) But she gets it!!! How rare is that?

Another friend continues to challenge and question me. And in the process of verbalizing things to her i have processed so much. I'm so grateful for the relationships in my life.

Another friend of mine has been going thru some tough times and he knows enough about both sides of one of my relationships. His way of speaking to me has guided my thoughts and prayers in a way that i'm sure he doesn't even know. He told me last week that in moving on and forward i need to "open my hands to what is coming to me." How simple, yet how profound those words were to me. He also thanked me yesterday for something and said that he hoped one day i'd love him like i do/did two of our mutual friends. And you know what?.... I do. It doesn't matter how long you've known some people. Sometimes you love them like the ones who've been there for years. Maybe the one who you've known for years is no longer with you. But in his memory i will continue to LOVE, love whatever God places in front of me and in my heart.

So my newest song is a Whitney Houston and Akon (he's senegalese) joint. So appropriate and certainly not an accident. The old and new..... I've experienced this love like i never left recently. It may make it more difficult since it isn't always a sustainable situation, but it makes me grateful to know that it's real and not just something i created in my mind and held onto alone....