iLove

Things iLove and I'm thankful for.....

water fountains, neighbors, technology to keep in touch, espresso, dark chocolate, people who challenge my thoughts, the plaza lights, rooftop pools, Wednesday night church, festival, carnival, walks with my perrita, fair trade goods, spanglish, movies like Bella, sweet potatoes, massages, bachata, exotic flowers, my herb garden, my mamas green beans, two legs to run on, movies on airplanes, generous people, BBQs, nonprofits, volunteering, homemade corn tortillas y queso fresco, curbside recycling, bubbly baths and bubbly drinks, sunlight, moonlight, candlelight, songs with meaning, family gatherings, common ground in uncommon places, stella mccartney clothes, tacones, city markets, mercados centrales, shisha, iTunes, homemade cards, pedis, my front porch, mentors, continuing education, Italian accessories, besos, reading a good book, Mr. Big in the background, soft materials, soft skin, languages, heights, sporting events, rotisserie chickens, jerk chicken, that "going green" is cool, me time, nicknames, comedy shows, learning about different cultures, real pizzerias, corner cafes, cuban cigars, yerba maté, loyalty, giggling late night, "building", new friends meeting old friends and being friends, dancing, the quiet storm, original artwork, funny dichos, good flicks, international films, local goods, baking, yassa, Sundays, the fresh flowers in my house, hot sauce, cinnamon, thoughtfulness, and every day God blesses me with.

Ambitious Girl

Sometimes i think, WOW i've been thru a lot. Even in my search for adventure, what's ahead could never compare to some of the things i've seen, done, or been thru. But then i realize that these extraordinary experiences were just pieces, preparations, for more to come.

In the last month in church before i left KC, pastor spoke on feeling alone based on your experiences. But then i think about how many transformations i've been thru and witnessed. There's a common bond in that even tho all of our experiences and pains are different. God cannot be explained. He has to be revealed. Pastor reminded us that our pain is a measure of the amount of power in our lives. In these times we find direction and clearer purpose. All the other BS falls back.

So, i was accepted to Thunderbird Global School of Management last summer. A dream of mine. It's so interesting to see the progression. I deferred a year because of the promotion at one of my jobs at the time. The plan was to attend in Fall '10 and hopefully finish my degree before Isaac got his visa to come home. Well, we all know that our plans never go quite as planned.

An earthquake and a series, nothing short of, miraculous events brought my babyboy to me. No more frequent trips to Haiti. Sad. But days filled with absolute happiness i didn't know existed before. His ways were revealed. People often imply my life is SO different or ask if it's been hard. Honestly, no. The sacrifices i've made for him don't even compare to the rewards. EVERYthing comes with an opportunity cost.

So as 2010 progressed, i became closer (and further) from many friends. Trying times bring out how much people really care. At some point i felt that if i could survive an earthquake and devastation of that magnitude, i could conquer a new city, school, job, etc. with a toddler. On my own. And i still know that i can.

But in the mix of it all i fell in love. Yeah. Ha. The kind that i've only felt twice before. And after the last one, i seriously doubted even HE would bless me with that deep of a feeling again. Maybe i don't need it. You know, i have it all. The house, the car, the travel, wonderful relationships, the freedom, and now a beautiful boy. I could be my own pop song about the independent woman. As a matter of fact, i've had numerous songs come out that people say actually make them think of me.

Where am i going with this? Well i understand there's great power in a strong woman. A strong human being for that matter. How many women are superwoman these days and doing it all, only to sacrifice real contentment and purpose? Or settle for a man not even going half as hard as she is? Life is about balance. So many of life's greatest romances were those who celebrated each others differences and realized that two can do better than one.

Love is funny. And so illogical at times. But we are often reminded to be "rational" or use our "common sense". Common sense only leads to common people. And "being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity" - Will Smith

I've often wrote about my heart residing somewhere far away. It was in Italy, then Haiti. As i write this, Isaac is in KC and i won't see him for two more days. There are those i love in all different places. As i packed up my home in KC i thought about so many memories, but it isn't my home, it's my HOUSE. And i really love that house. The molding, the character, the porch. But I also love Arizona. Something about being somewhere new thrills me. Getting out of my own comfort zone is tough, yet gratifying.

I almost didn't come to Arizona. I planned, in my head, to move to be with my love. Don't get me wrong, i didn't plant that idea. It was brought to my attention over the last month or so. But as i drove cross country, with my music, God's scenery, and so many conversations with my dearest friends, i searched to find where my heart really lies. My priorities are GOD and family, whatever my family is meant to look like. I aspire to do great things, but not at the cost of missing out on too much time with those i love. Being an independent woman has taught me that sometimes the hardest thing is to sacrifice or compromise your plans and desires for someone else. And in the midst of all this thinking and praying i realized that my dreams and desires had changed.

So here i am in AZ. I've withdrawn from the Thunderbird program. It was an honor to be accepted in the first place. I'm thinking i will apply to ASU's online MBA program starting in the spring. It's nowhere near the prestige. But it's highly accredited and so much more flexible for me to support people in my life. And i plan to explore other job options as well.

Life is nothing without love. In whatever form that it comes in. My desire is to be genuine with what i give. And to take time for myself. I look forward to the possibility of seeing family for more holidays, still traveling some, spending time with my good friends here in Phoenix, taking Isaac to new places, spending more time with him and teaching him, and supporting other loves in my life. The possibilities are endless. "Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, and honor" - Proverbs 21:21

When i went to Focus on the Family in the Springs years ago, i read a book called Margin. When we learn to let there be space between our goals and aspirations we realize we cannot do everything we want to do. We don't try. But it allows us to figure out what we really want most out of life. And when you sacrifice for something the reward is oh so much sweeter.

So that is my story of an ambitious girl. Aspirations to be the highest i can be. With hopes that someone else is preparing the same way as me. Inshallah.

I am a Sensualist

“Fellini said he loved zaftig women because a woman who doesn't love food isn't good in bed. I think there's something to that.”


"The people who are the most beautiful are those who do what they love to do – who have love in their lives, and laugh a lot, go to good movies, read good books, and have great sex." — actress Carla Gugino

What a beautiful life philosophy. I love finding people in life who think or feel similarly to myself. And the way they articulate it just gives you that YESSSSSSSSSSS that is IT! Every person is at their most beautiful when they are happy.


happiness = ranges from contentment to intense joy, but i think it's most about choosing to being grateful in your current situation


Sensualism, defined as a devotion or obsession with the pleasures of the senses is more often cited as a negative characteristic than a positive one. I have always considered myself a sensual person. I may not have an obsession, but a definite affinity towards sensual pleasures greater than your average Jane. I take priority in life's pleasures relating to all five of my senses. Some of my friends and past loves will read and agree whole-heartedly, some saying i told you so before!


I'm that girl that closes her eyes as she first sips a rich espresso. The slow sounds of a deep voice in my ear can make my knees weak, literally. I enjoy rich foods like steak and dark chocolate, the smell of a man or of vanilla. Texture is the deciding factor in my clothing and comfort foods. I once had my palm read. The woman told me that i was very flexible and i would know when i found "the one" by touch, even if that touch was minimal or insignificant to most, it wouldn't go unnoticed by me. My favorite indulgence is an amazing massage and probably have more of them in one year than the average person does in a lifetime. Warmth and water is therapeutic to body and soul. Music and rhythm is so moving to me that what i listen to can not only take me back, but bring me thru pain, reduce me to tears, my knees, make me shake my head, grin from ear to ear, or just shake my booty for hours. I've always been one to know exactly what i like. I may be one of the worst at expressing it in words, but if you get to know me i can show you ;)


Many people, men and women alike, can relate to this concept. Who doesn't like sensual pleasures in life. And in part, i think having a strong desire to please your senses comes with being confident in your own skin and letting go of the guilt people feel when they are indulgent. But some of the smallest things in life can give the greatest amounts of satisfaction. Life is too short to deprive yourself to be 5 pounds thinner, have $5 more in the bank, or prove to someone your selfless. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! - after the Lord of course... and everyone else in your life will reap the residual benefits of a happy, healthy you!

Ride or Die

I'm not sure how to even begin this post... I started this morning w an egg sandwich and coffee, listening to a song that made me really feel these words. "If I hadn't been thru the things I've been thru, I wouldn't know Him like I do." Then at church I heard the preacher speak about how there are things inside of you that you didn't know were there until you went thru what you did. Amen to that! My growth in the last year (even last month or two) has been amazing. I feel blessed with a gift of insight. I can see right thru to the heart of people and am recognizing why I do what I do with greater clarity than ever before. It feels like a burden sometimes. It was so much easier to write people off when I just reacted to their outward actions or to make excuses for myself. Oh how ignorance is bliss... But when we know better we can do better;)... and that is what is expected of us. Ultimately as Christ said in John 8:32 "the truth will set you free"


God has been pruning me and preparing me. Trust, I have a long way to go, but one thing I know is that I am fiercely loyal. I find myself tired of the competition, the games, the fickle attitude of others. But in all reality, it isn't my job to change that. All I can be is an example to those who paths cross with mine and learn from each experience as it comes. God places people in our path for a reason. You may not know it now or maybe ever, but His will is great and His desires for us exceeds our very own. 


So back to the title of this post... yes I consider myself a ride or die female. The people who have been close enough to me know this. They may no longer be a part of my daily life, but no matter what, I am here for them. It's something I almost can't help, but I'm proud to be that way. We are to ABIDE in Him and to stay with Him because His staying power is eternal. And I want to be more like Him. 


So I am trying to be patient and to wait on the Lord's timing. Becoming a woman of character. Plain and simple. There are rough times and there are good times and there are just getting by times. All of those put together make who we are together and as individuals, not just the good times. If you are down, I will lift you up. If I am down, you will lift me. Thick and thin kinda sh*t ♡ Pretty sure ya'll know what I'm talking about.

Simplicity

A friend of mine recently said that she finally understood my whole "simple outlook". She said it took her awhile, but it's amazing and she felt a great blessing for me to be ever so lucky to do the things that I do. And I think this can apply to all of us.

"It's the little things that count" is applicable to every one of us each day of our lives. I've been blessed with so many opportunity to go many different places and do so many things. There is never enough time in the day or in our lives to do it all. But the people we meet along the way make the lasting impression on us. 


So what to do with all these opportunities?! I choose to take them! You always have to sacrifice something else to do it. But do it. Make the best of it. And life can't get any better then that. I hope for each of you the same blessings and opportunities you are looking for, whether it is far away, across town, in your own home, or inside of your beautiful self!


A few verses courtesy of Ashley...

Psalm 128:2

2 You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Proverbs 10:21-23

²¹ The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.²² The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.²³ A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom

Like I Never Left

Bittersweet is the word that best describes my life or how i view it these days. I woke up this morning to this vista...

There have been so many things swirling in my head lately. Sometimes i feel as if i'm living someone else's life.

How did i get here? What does the Lord have in store for me? For my family? How did i come upon the friends i have? After a boat ride to Santiago and then Panajachel, Guatemala today i was sleepy and just minutes before i layed down for a siesta it started to pour! I woke less than an hour later to skies clearing and soon after, a beautiful sunset. How lucky am i? Are we? Or just blessed. It's the little things that count... and that stay with you.

My girl, went to church last night (while i've been here in central america) and took notes for me. I can't tell you how much this meant to me. She just recently started going to church with me and even asked why i had to write stuff down. I told her just so i remember points and verses i liked. It's my recap:) But she gets it!!! How rare is that?

Another friend continues to challenge and question me. And in the process of verbalizing things to her i have processed so much. I'm so grateful for the relationships in my life.

Another friend of mine has been going thru some tough times and he knows enough about both sides of one of my relationships. His way of speaking to me has guided my thoughts and prayers in a way that i'm sure he doesn't even know. He told me last week that in moving on and forward i need to "open my hands to what is coming to me." How simple, yet how profound those words were to me. He also thanked me yesterday for something and said that he hoped one day i'd love him like i do/did two of our mutual friends. And you know what?.... I do. It doesn't matter how long you've known some people. Sometimes you love them like the ones who've been there for years. Maybe the one who you've known for years is no longer with you. But in his memory i will continue to LOVE, love whatever God places in front of me and in my heart.

So my newest song is a Whitney Houston and Akon (he's senegalese) joint. So appropriate and certainly not an accident. The old and new..... I've experienced this love like i never left recently. It may make it more difficult since it isn't always a sustainable situation, but it makes me grateful to know that it's real and not just something i created in my mind and held onto alone....

top 10 places i'd like to visit right now

... but i haven't been to... yet

1. Morocco

2. Greece

3. Curaçao

4. Turkey

Kempinski Hotel Barbaros Bay

Belek, Kempinski Hotel The Dome

5. Beruit, Lebanon

6. Malaysia

7. Malta

8. Carmel, California

Carmel-by-the-Sea

9. Belize

10. India

and read this: World's Best Millionaire Hangouts

i've been to 10. (in mustique), 8., 7., 4. (stayed there last week!), and 1. (is my favorite small town in the WORLD!) i'm like the millionaire wo the dinero! LOL